


Speciesbent

by Merrywetherweather



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Biting, Black-Red Vacillation, Blood, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/F, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Loneliness, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pale-Black Vacillation, Pale-Red Vacillation, Scratching, Species Swap, Troll!Rose, davekat - Freeform, human!Kanaya, human!Karkat, rosemary, troll!dave
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-09 01:42:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/768510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merrywetherweather/pseuds/Merrywetherweather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Majorly Edited*<br/>A 2013 work that I've picked up again and started to edit/add new chapters to.<br/>New Plot Synopsis: Dave and Karkat are the only two people on the meteor who don't have someone to keep company with for the duration of the three year voyage. To combat extreme loneliness, they decide the only excuse they can come up with to make sure they aren't completely alone is to try and fit themselves into a blackrom. But why is Dave so intent on filling that quadrant specifically? And why can't Karkat bring himself to hate Dave?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one has been edited and I feel so much cringe from a lot of things having reread them. Hopefully, this will be a learning experience.

"What the fresh fuck do you think you're doing?"

The human before you loudly voices his concerns, obviously annoyed with you suddenly blocking off any possible escape route. Your arms are splayed out on either side of him so that he's backed up into a hallway wall.

He's smaller than what you presume to be the average height of his species and his eyes are darkened by heavy raccoon bags, quite possibly developed from years of not getting enough sleep. They almost look bruised, dampening the striking red color of his eyes. It makes them look more maroon. And his disheveled mop of black hair looks pretty soft, so very alien, compared to trolls. It makes you want to reach out and touch it but you're restraining yourself.

Black romance with humans is a foreign area. You should probably approach it with at least a little bit of caution.

"I'm just eyeing up one of the new meteor cadets.” Aside from your pitch leanings, you were also a bit curious about the humans. After they joined you on your way to the new session, Kanaya was mostly sticking around Rose, Terezi and Vriska had some strange bff club you apparently weren’t invited to join, the clown guy was not even remotely an option, and Karkat had been holing himself up. Until today when you caught him on his way back from the nutrition block. "You're kind of scrawny. How is it that out of all the humans to make it out of your session, you got lucky? I mean, I remember trolling the big guy that liked to punch robots at one point and, I gotta say, compared to him you're not much to look at."

He flushes a bit and gives a lopsided frown. "Well, maybe I don’t want to be looked at by some taint-chafing dick maggot. And I made it out of there didn't I? I may not be as strong as Equius but at least I made it out alive.” The guy has no volume control. His voice is grating and perfectly stirs up more of those black vibes you were getting from him earlier.  He looks a bit shaken up after this outburst and you feel the need to pester him more in this particular subject area.

You lean in to whisper in his ear, "I bet you feel pretty guilty, huh?" You just manage to resist smiling when  his eyes widen a bit. He knows you know he's blaming himself for their deaths. While you mostly trolled Terezi, you occasionally observed him playing in his session. There was nowhere for him to hide while he grieved for their loss. You remember the feeling of aggravation that flared through you as he openly wept. And in front of his teammates no less! Showing signs of vulnerability like that was downright depraved. "Weren’t you supposed to be their self-proclaimed leader?”

He flinches and sinks back into the wall. His eyes look kind of wet. He was such a big crybaby all throughout his play through. You might even be able to make him cry now.

You feel a bit pleased with yourself.

"You know, when it comes to troll romance, we have a quadrant that is specifically meant for your one true hate. It's-”

"I know about the quadrants!" He snaps, interrupting your proposition.

You're a little startled at how loud his voice actually managed to get. He also seems startled by his loss of chill and he starts to backtrack, "I mean... Uh… When John and Jade were yacking about it nonstop, I may have just absorbed all of the nuances without even realizing it, or something." He looks down at his shoes for answers.

Something clicks. "Oh, no way. Dude, you were totally into checkin out how we romance."

"It's not like I was particularly interested-!"

You tilt your head smugly. "You can't really lie about this. I've seen your room from the trollian viewport feature. You have posters of all your favorite shitty earth romcoms all over your block walls. You're a romantic."

Karkat is practically emanating the color red from his blush. "This line of conversation is asinine. Anyway, back to the topic at hand, going off of your previous, rude prodding into my survivor’s guilt, if you are making a suggestion that if I hate myself so much I should just hate marry myself or whatever I-"

"Actually, I was gonna say you should spade date me.” This time you interrupt him.

His mouth hangs open. "I-Uh-What?”

You take one of his hands in yours and push his arm above his head, "If you hate yourself so much I could be mutually beneficial in aiding in your whole selfcest affair."

His worried eyes quickly scan your face. "I'm not following.”

You sigh. "Look. We're gonna be stuck on this meteor for a while. All I'm saying is, you seem like the type to get all out of whack the moment you are left alone to ruminate on awful shit. So, rather than find you one day smothered to death by your own incompetencies and inner turmoil, I could be a viable outlet.”

He thinks on what you’ve said. "... You want me to let you take over the whole of my self-loathing and possible future self-harm so that it doesn't look as bad because technically I wouldn’t actually have done anything myself?"

You congratulate his correct conclusion with patronization. "Hey! Maybe your species isn’t a total lost cause.”

He's mulling things over in his head so hard that he doesn't even seem to notice when you pull his other arm over his head, keeping his limbs suspended there with just one hand now so that the other one is free to roam.

"I think that it might be a bad idea... But there’s going to be three years of living on this meteor and I don’t think I want to be alone for the duration of it… I'll try it." He looks you in the eyes, well, okay, shades, and his determined face is just too much. Adorable could be one way to describe it. Irritatingly naïve is another. You immediately lunge for his neck, hovering your fangs over his skin.

This startles him out of his oblivious little thinkpan and he whimpers as you make a slow incision near his collar bone. You don’t drag, but just the feeling of sinking your teeth into his flesh is exciting you.

"Wait!" He struggles against you and you step back once his forehead accidentally collides with yours.

You check yourself for a bump. "Ow! Fuck! What?"

He looks like he’s been betrayed. "... It hurt.”

You stare at him for a solid ten seconds before breaking into a fit of breathy laughter. "It's supposed to hurt some. It's blackrom, man."

"I don't like it that rough!" He balls his hands into fists and stands his ground.

You can’t help the tiniest of smiles trying to creep its way up your face. "You’re so weird. You want to make yourself experience pain cause you hate yourself, but you don't like it when you get hurt. Are all humans just as contradictory as you are?" You try to lean back into him, but he pushes you off.

There are tears glistening in his eyes, threatening to fall. "Maybe the emotional pain you cause is a lot harder to bear than the physical. Ever think of that, jackass?"

And with that your new ‘kiss me tits’ is absconding down the hall to his new living quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pthh pthh pthh!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is now fully edited.  
> Oh dear lord. The cringe. It just won't stop.

You're so confused. But you aren’t going to lie to yourself or sugarcoat the truth, what that troll… what _Dave_ said was right. You probably are the least stable person on the meteor at present. Hell, even Gamzee calmed his tits after Vriska put him under lockdown.

It kind of scares you. Most of your friends are dead now. And those that are left are more preoccupied with their own relationships to bother with you are your incessant thoughts of how badly you’ve fucked everything up. If you were to be left alone for the duration of the journey, you’re not actually sure you would make it.

And Dave, not only gave you a way to seek solace from the encroaching dull ache of loneliness but is also offering you a perfect opportunity to safely release all the built up frustration you have towards yourself. You guess you just weren’t expecting it to be so…

Intense?                                                                                 

Frightening?

You liked the troll’s romantic ideals and their ideas of quadrants, how neatly they could compartmentalize and separate their respective romantic drama until any problems they had could be boiled down into something easily identifiable and found in one little square. But you never knew how terrifying it might feel to be overpowered by someone like that. Dave is strong. Most trolls are, you gather. Lean muscle, built for agility and fighting. But the fear you possess doesn’t just lie in the physical aspects of kismesitude. It’s in giving up control that scares you the most. Letting someone become a huge part of your life was something you had to account for in human relationships too.

So maybe you are just a little contradictory, like Dave said. Or even just plain fucked up. Maybe something went wrong in the ectochamber where you made all of those gross human babies of you and your friends and baby you probably bumped his head on an impudently jutting out piece of ectomachinery. Or maybe you just were overwhelmed by the sudden realization that you are now in a relationship with someone.

You’re in a relationship with someone.

You

Relationship

In a 

"Oh my fuck."

You curl up on the floor of your room with your knees to your chest.  
"I have a boyfriend,” You say to yourself. Albeit it’s one that hates you and wants to naw your neck off but it’s a boyfriend nonetheless. You didn’t think that was ever gonna happen. And not just cause you being gay and the game starting limited your viable romance candidates but mostly because it was you.

You get up and drag yourself to your bathroom mirror, pulling down your shirt collar a bit to see how bad the damage Dave inflicted actually is. You should be used to seeing you and your friends’ blood by now. Your session wasn’t very _clean_ , even by troll standards, or so you’ve heard. But the sight of it makes you feel queasy.

You pass out.

When you wake up next, there's a ringing in your ears and the bright light of the common room floods your vision. Your head is resting on Kanaya's lap and she's stroking your hair back while her new, alien, online-dating girlfriend, Rose, is eyeing you across the room. Her fins are flapping in what you assume to be annoyance.

"Are you okay, Karkat?" Kanaya's voice rolls out soft and elegant, carrying with it a melodic lilt that flows out evenly through her jade painted lips. Even in a medical emergency, Kanaya knew how accessorize.

You hold your head, checking for a bump. "I was bleeding."

"I saw. I cleaned it off after I came to your room to pick you up for supper."  
"How did I get out here?"

She smiled a little devilishly, ruining the illusion if eloquence she had moments before. She could be a real snarky broad when she wanted to be. And what was with this fussing? Always fussing with her! "Gamzee helped move you. But he scampered off after he helped me carry you in here."

"What kind of blood player are you? Fainting at the sight of your own blood?" Dave speaks up, coming out of the shadows, and sits himself across from Rose.

She greets him like a second thought, "Lowblood."

He sticks his tongue out at her. "Fish face."

There doesn’t seem to be any actual bite to their remarks and you guess their banter is meant to be friendly.

Rose one ups Dave by making a V win her middle and index finger and sticking her tongue in between them, "If you are referring to the large amount of nook I am receiving then you are correct. I am indeed a fish face."

He makes a disgusted face and covers his eyes, "TMI TMI TMI."

Kanaya is blushing but doesn't say a word, watching the exchange with interest.  
Finally she speaks up, "Dave."

Her tone is that of a stern mother and everyone in the room whips around to stare at her, "Did you bite Karkat?"

He rests his chin on his fist. "Why does it matter? You're not my lusus," he childishly remarks.

Rose gives him a look that tells him to behave himself in front of her matesprit.  
He sighs and reluctantly answers, "I bit him. We're kismetfishes now."

Everyone is quiet.

Rose gives an exasperated sigh. "He means kismesises. Dave, you shouldn't mispronounce words the humans don't know very well."

Kanaya lets out a shocked little, “Oh.” Her expression appears worried. "I didn't think blackrom would work for us," she pauses, "Do you plan on hurting him?"

Without skipping a beat Dave answers honestly, "Yes." He dips his shades for a moment and winks.

Kanaya turns to you. "And you're okay with this?"

Oh man. You could have used some more time to think this through. “Yes?"

Dave's mouth quirks up the tiniest bit.

He paces over to where you and Kanaya are sitting side by side and picks you up without warning, throwing you over his shoulder like you weigh next to nothing. You start shouting out expletives but he ignores you and addresses Kanaya instead, "You heard the man." He starts marching to the transportalizer.

Kanaya's voice stops him, "But what about dinner?"

Dave looks back and then peers at your face from above his shades. "No thanks. I'm planning on skipping straight to dessert."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter three has been edited and i want to puke. wtf. why did i ever like dubcon at some point???

Karkat is getting his rage on. Thrown over your shoulder and a good ways away from the communal block where you left Rose and Kanaya, he sounds like he’s listing out every possible cuss word his little thinkpan can conjure up. His fists are pounding on your back hard, but not hard enough to bruise and, fuck, that makes you kind of sick. You groan, "Jeez! At least dig your nails in or something. You are just terrible at foreplay."

This quiets him down some. He's not hitting you anymore. Just sort of clinging.  
You hear him whisper out something, “Foreplay… as in… right before…?"

You sort of enjoy how much talking in innuendo freaks him out. Despite his vulgar vocabulary, you know he's probably purer of heart than the great troll Mother Teresa herself. 

And, quite frankly, you find his flustered reactions to be downright adorable. Fuck. You mean deplorable. Oh god. You just manage to stop your thinkpan from going off on a tangent. And from that tangent would assuredly have sprung a sick rap about how this human is playing musical foursquare with your quadrants. But you are determined to pin him down in pitch. You’ve got a gut feeling that that’s where you’ll work best.

You get to your respiteblock and throw him down on the human bed that you recently learned how to alchemize in preparation of your new guests.

Karkat flops down with a squeak. He's really not supposed to be making you think he's cute. He's supposed to be just as mean and riled up as you've been acting towards him. But, for as much as he talks tough, you’ve gathered that he cries easily, likes romance, and faints at the sight of blood. He's weak and you hate that. But even if your hate extends pretty far, he'll still be a pretty useless kismesis if he won't even try to hurt you.

He looks tense. You sit on the bed in front of him. You try to be direct, "Hit me."

He looks at you bewildered, his overbite nibbling at his bottom lip pensively. "...what?"

You shrug. "Punch me in the face or something."

His expression remains confused. "Is this how blackrom usually works? I hit you and you get turned on by that? Then what? We make mad love and, in the process, try to rip off each other’s skin?"

You sigh and shake your head. "I just want to see if you even have the capabilities to be a kismesis. So man up and just casually punch me in the face or something."

Karkat hesitantly raises his arm. You note that it's shaking but you don’t say anything more. You take off your shades, close your eyes, and clench your teeth...

And nothing comes.

You open your eyes and, oh fuck. No. He looks like he's gonna cry again. You feel your bloodpusher clench and you wince. What do you know? He actually managed to cause you some physical pain.

You pull him into your lap, smoothing your hand down his back, and he still won't relax. "Shh. You pass. You can be my kismesis." The pale tone you’re using is making your stomach flip. Vacilitation doesn’t usually happen between spades and diamonds, not that you would admit to feeling the latter for him ever.

He looks helpless. "But I didn't… _couldn’t_ hit you."

You don't really know how to explain your way out of this one. You don't want to tell him that his kicked puppy face was actually so uncomfortable to witness that you experienced some troll-anime-style, heart-clenching, doki-doki bullshit. That sounds more in line with something you’d say to a possible matesprit. And, personally, you aren’t too fond when it comes to trying to find someone to occupy your flushed quadrant. It always seemed like getting people to hate you was easier than earning someone's affections.

You nip at his neck, the juncture where it meets his jaw, so that the cuddle doesn't seem completely red or pale. You really just wanted to find a person to keep you company for the next three years but now you're kind of enjoying how Karkat is squirming in your lap and the little hitches of breath you hear him make every time you run your tongue over a sensitive spot just under his ear.

You like the face he's making. He's biting his lip and turning a shade of red that is most definitely not on the hemospectrum. It almost matches with your eye color, the little flecks of red that are just starting to come in.

You push a hand up his shirt and he shivers. He lets out a frightened whimper and your hand stills. You try and console him for reasons you can’t fathom, "I don't plan on having an interspecies love making session right now so you can calm down. I just thought about getting to know you better."

Some of the tension visibly leaves as his shoulders slump. “Then, I guess, that’s fine…”

With the go ahead, you continue, gliding your fingers over his rib cage and trail another hand down his back. He lets out a small gasp. You hum beside his ear, "Someone's sensitive."

"Shut the fuck UP-!" He punctuates the end of his sentence with a yelp as you toss him beneath you and back onto the bed.

You sort of want to explore his alien body. You are genuinely curious as to what human anatomy looks like and how it might differ from your own. You pull his shirt up and ask him to hold it.

He looks uncomfortable, but he still follows your instructions.

Watching for his reaction, you slide a pointed nail delicately down his stomach, careful not to break skin, but still leaving a thin white line in its wake. He quivers.

Suddenly, you stop and sit up. "What are those?" You point to the pink circles on his chest.

Red rushes to his face and he stares at you dumbfounded. He surprises you further by sitting up and lifting up your shirt to inspect your chest. He sounds just a tad too amazed when he says, "You don't have nipples?"

You flick your shirt back down, grumpy that anatomy exploration time was put on hold. "Um, no. What would be the evolutionary benefit of having mammary glands?"

His eyebrows come together. "They're for feeding babies when they're first born. Well, on a female. I'm not actually sure what they do on males. I heard somewhere that we're all female at one point in the womb since it’s the default sex, so I guess that's where they-"

"My, those are some words you are now saying," You unashamedly interrupt him.

You reach out and graze one of his human ‘nipples’ with your thumb. He flinches and jolts back to lie down, leaning out of reach. He wraps his arms firmly over his chest.

You stare down at him, amused. "What the hell was that? I just wanted to touch it."

"You! You!" He's sputtering, trying hard to find words.

"I guess, you forgot to mention that they're apparently an erogenous zone." You grin at him and he looks kind of terrified. You're about to lean down and maybe see what other noises you can get out of him by playing with them when Karkat grabs your horns and pulls your face up to meet his.

Karkat’s lips lock with yours and his brow is furrowed in concentration. You make a mental note to check out his strange, residual, mammalian body part later, since his mouth has you momentarily distracted.

He isn't using tongue, just lightly caressing your mouth with his. It’s going way too slow for your liking. You thread a hand into his hair and pull a little. His mouth opens a bit and you slip your tongue in, trying to coax his out to play. His breathing is becoming irregular and, every time your lips part, you hear him make tiny gasping noises. You bite the corner of his mouth and he bleeds a little, flooding your mouth with the coppery taste.

Karkat attempts to imitate your bite but he doesn’t break skin. Can’t, you think. You groan and he looks startled, like he didn't know he could cause you to make the same noises you’ve been pulling out of him.

Eventually, he moves back, attempting to catch his breath and you let him.

He's lying on his back, panting, and you feel fairly satisfied.

"How was it?" You don’t even try to hide the smile that slipped onto your face.

He mumbles something.

"What?" You lean in closer.

He looks apprehensive but spills, "That was my first kiss, so I don't really know."

There’s a surge of pity bubbling up that you fight hard against, as you lie down next to him. You get into position to be the big spoon and curl your arms around his waist so he can’t see your face. You want it to be stoic or smug, but it doesn’t feel likely, so, for now, you need to hide it. He lets out a sigh of relief as he sinks back into you.

You find how much he trusts you to be both maddening and endearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a lot more consensual than it was, (ie there is now verbal consent.) and dave's expression of loneliness-induced company seeking is now also more out in the open, just like karkat's. jeez. these boys cant be honest with themselves.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 4 is edited and im officially caught up and ready to write more for this! woot woot!

"Rose..." You tentatively broach the subject.

"Hmm?" Her eyes finish skimming the page of her book before turning to you.

You take a deep breath. "I'm worried."

She smiles. "Reely? I'm not." You know she puns sarcastically. She’s told you on numerous occasions that other seadwellers expected her to make them when she’d actually rather not.

You try and get her to be serious. "Yes, well, maybe you should be."

She waves you off. "Kanaya, I already know what you’re fretting over. But don’t worry. They whale be fine! If you're nervous about Karcrab having his heart broken or that he might get fishically injured I suggest you stop getting your Ahab’s hairs crossed. Dave will probubbly be the one to fall first anyway."

"What makes you so shore? I mean sure? I mean, damn! You wouldn't have even known I was thinking of making a fish pun there." You rub at your temples.

Rose gets up and strolls across the room. She sits down with you on the couch and glides her fingers over your shoulders and down your back, bringing herself closer. She stares up at you, her eyes barely glowing a luminescent violet from tiny fragments of purple pigment in her irises. Her fins flutter. "You worry too much. What a nasty halibut."

"...um?" You nervously quirk your head to the side, inviting an explanation.

She frowns but clarifies, "Habit. Sorry. That one was dolphinately a stretch."

You let out an anxious giggle and pull her even closer, lessening the gap between your bodies. She's shorter by a head but she still has so much presence. You can't tell if it's a troll thing, a seadweller thing, or a Rose thing but her confidence and outward composure are very attractive to you.

"Water you thinking a-boat?" She grins deviously at you, batting her lashes.

You honestly can't think much about anything when she's that close. She smells like the ocean, a fresh salty scent that makes you remember how warm the sunbaked sands of earth’s beaches were. You would laze about on a towel and absorb its heat, being caressed by the gentle rays. You always had an affiliation for the sun. That might be the reason you find yourself so enchanted by the light player currently coiled into your arms.

"Nothing. Just home," your voice carries a melancholy note that she is quick to detect.

"I don't think it's unhealthy for a person to reminisce about where they came from. However," she clears her throat, "It is in my professional opinion that you might want to look into finding a few distractions from such painful memories."

She sounds all pschoanaliticical, but you know she isn’t as detached and clinical as the front she presents. You muse at her, "Oh? And what kind of distractions do you have in mind?" You murmur the words close to her ear and she shivers, a faint flush of lavender tingeing her cheeks.

She lowers her eyelids seductively, fluttering her lashes. She whispers back, “I can think of one great oppor-tuna-ity for a distraction right in front of you."

That's it.

You cave.

You start shaking against her, choking out some rather ineloquent snorts and guffaws. Rose is patting your back, eyes, no doubt, rolling back into her head.

She sounds only slightly displeased to have the moment interrupted, "Fuck. I'm going to have to keep the puns down to a minnow-mum from now on if I want a serious interspecies make-out session, aren't I?"

"I am so _so_ sorry." You kiss her temple and her body freezes. Her fins flick up and her lips purse in surprise. "Next time we may engage in whatever fish-faced lip-locking you so choose."

She tugs at the back of your shirt. "Next time meaning later tonight, right? We have a date."

You regard her fondly. "Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world, which, incidentally, I don't even have to worry about, because there is no more world."

"This scampi harpooning!” You barely manage to understand her saying ‘This can’t be happening’ before you continue to humor her theatrics, “I was a seadweller of noble blood and caste. But now I'm smitten with someone that matches my snark word for word. Am I such a narcissus that I've actually fallen for someone who is just like me?"

You cup her face, enjoying the way she lets her head loll into your touch. "Sweetheart, you're psychoanalyzing yourself again."

Her lips spread upward, revealing her otherwise perfectly concealed shark teeth. "Thank you, my wonderful lusus."

You're at least 70% sure that that might have been insulting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see you fuckers on... the flip side!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so fucking scared and nervous to be picking this up again. I haven't written in 2nd Person POV in some time and also this is something from 3 years ago??? (Never a good idea to look into your old fics) I hope this goes well.

            You awake to find that your new kismesis is no longer in his bed. Dave must have left the room at some point during the night.

            You’re so confused.

            Troll romance is difficult. You thought Dave was right when he said this would be a good way to get out a little self-loathing without actually having to directly hurt yourself, but for some reason you don’t think Dave is actually capable of harming you past a few accidental clawings and some biting, which, if you had to be honest, you’ve discovered you actually kind of enjoy. He can really piss you off when he talks, but, for the most part, all he’s been doing is trying to console you and guide you in the right direction.

            But he also left you while you were sleeping and that made you kind of nervous. Was that a usual kismesis thing? Or were you really bad at blackrom and Dave realized it wasn’t going to work out after all?

            You’re starting to get panicked, thinking about what you should do if you’re forced to spend the next few years stewing in loneliness. You were almost starting to like being around Dave, even if he professed to hating your guts. Maybe he left because he found out you weren’t too keen on hating him? If he discovered you didn’t share mutual animosity, it might make him question your relationship with him.

            A sudden string of thumps comes from the bathroom followed by a muttered, “Damn.”

            “Dave?” You cautiously slide out of bed. You can hear the shower running.

            “Yeah?” His agitated voice answers you.

            Relief floods into you and you find that air is flowing into your lungs easier.

            “What was that noise?” You ask, the hint of a smile creeping its way onto your face.

            He doesn’t respond.                                                                 

            “Dave?” You prompt him again.

            He sighs, exasperated, before he finally tells you, “I knocked over a bunch of shampoo bottles with my horns.”

            You snicker.

            “That funny to you, Vantas?” Rather than threatening, his question comes across as teasing.

            “Yeah, I’d say it’s pretty fucking funny. Mr. Cool can’t even bathe himself properly without knocking into shit like the clumsy dork he really is.” You sit on the bed and wait for him to take your bait. He remains silent for a minute and you start to second guess yourself. You want so badly for this blackrom thing to work.

            You hear splashing noises and then he’s leaning against the doorway of his bathroom, arms crossed, a towel wrapped around his waist. He feigns offense. “That _almost_ hurt. I guess you humans can make decent kismeosises.”

            You groan, irritated with his battered vocabulary. “Why do you keep pronouncing it incorrectly?”

            “For the lols,” He deadpans as he walks over to stand next to you. You cover your mouth when you make an undignified snorting noise.

             “Cute,” He mutters under his breath. Your heart flips a bit in your chest, but you manage to hide your feelings well enough with a light punch to his abdominals. It’s like hitting a brick wall. You’re suddenly glad you didn’t intend to hit him with all of your strength. Rather than pull your hand away after you make contact, you keep it in place, stretching your palm over his stomach. His skin is warm. You can feel heat beginning to rise to your face. You look up and try to find something in his expression that’ll let you know you’re okay. That this gesture is allowed and still in bounds with what the quadrant dictates. But his face is unreadable with his shades now in the way.

            He breaks the silence as his hand moves to cover yours, “Do you want to try something blacker?” You don’t say anything as he adjusts your fingers against his stomach. He curls them and leaves his nails resting on his skin. He’s made your hand into a claw. “Go ahead and scratch me.”

            “Why?” You don’t know how this could seem intimate to you, but it does.

            He looks serious. “Cause if we’re gonna be in a proper kismesiattitude, we have to be fairly matched. I told you I’d help you get out some self-loathing, but you also seem like the type to bottle up a lot of stress. Haven’t you ever wanted to take out your frustrations on somebody? Am I not amazingly frustrating to deal with? You can let it all out on me when I get on your nerves. I’m not gonna break. Plus, it’ll be hella cathartic.”

            You bite your lip, unsure. “…okay.”

            Slowly, you slide your nails down. A trail of lighter gray follows your fingertips. When you reach his pelvis, you pull your hand back and release a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

            You search his face. “How was that?”

            Dave tilts his head to the side. “Kind of felt like if I were to scratch an itch? You can go harder. Like, a little blood under your nails ain’t gonna kill either of us.”

            You nod. “Right. Okay.” You put your hand in place again and this time you try and dig your nails in.

            He hums.

            Taking that as a signal to continue, you graze your hand down faster than before, performing the reluctant movement like someone ripping off a band aid. Dave hisses through his teeth. You look down at your hand and see that the tips of your fingers are smeared with his blood. You brave a look at the marks you left behind.

You think you’re gonna be sick.

An overwhelming feeling of guilt hits you.

How did you ever believe you could do this?

            The apologies fall from you lips as you stand up, “Sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to- I didn’t want- I’m sorry.” You feel yourself shaking.

            His eyebrows scrunch together over his shades and he tries to wave away your fears. “Hey! Hey! Calm down. I’m alright. See, look. Does it look like it hurt that bad? I mean, jeez! You don’t have to do this stuff if you don’t want to. I just thought you might like a little more balance in the relationship. Shh… It’s okay.” He’s rubbing circles into your back and dammit. That’s just what you need. Your supposed-to-be-hate crush calming you down. _Pitying_ you. You are terrible at this.

            Your pulse is fluttering. Despite his attempts to hatemance you, Dave is actually, and surprisingly, really fucking _nice_. This would never have worked out. Hate him? The guy was making you feel things and literally none of those things were even remotely close to hate.

“I think… I need to be alone to think about some things.”

You want to know how he’s responding to your words but all you’ve got is the small downturn of the corner of his mouth letting you know he’s displeased. You throw in one more, “I’m sorry,” before walking out the door to seek out somewhere quiet.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *keysmashing out the chapter*  
> I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE EAGER TO FINISH A FIC. I JUST WANT IT DONE.

            “Rose, I need your help.” Dave transportalized into the communal block just as you were pouring some freshly alchemized soporific liquids into Kanaya’s goblet. His irritatingly loud and intrusive voice makes you splash a few drops onto your new dress.

            You smile, none too convincingly, at Kanaya as you excuse yourself, “One moment please. I sense a disturbance in the force.”

            Dave rolls his eyes. “You can quit it with the space bit. This is a serious problem, that requires all of your attention and, oh, hey Kan. Hope I’m not interrupting anything important.”

            She raises her goblet in greeting and then sips at it, her eyebrows rising as she gets a taste of the liquor inside. You have a feeling its contents will end up in a potted plant later tonight.

            You step away from your date and pull Dave to the side, out of earshot. You’re short with him, “I’m sort of in the middle of somefin so please make this quick.”

            “Karkat hates me,” He sounds devastated.

            You look at him like he’s mad. “Conchgratulations? Was this not port of your plan? I was under the impression you were courting him in that quadrant but-”

            He interrupts you, “I’m not _bragging_ , Lalonde! I mean, I think he _platonically_ hates me.”

            You fold your arms over your chest and grin, amused. “Oh, this is gold. How did you manage that?”

            He looks hesitant to continue but, against his better judgement, he storms ahead, “I think maybe we were forcing a few things and he got uncomfortable or fed up, or both and just sort of… left.”

            You nod, taking in the situation. “He’s not equipped to handle blackrom is he?”

            Dave looks upset with himself, glaring at the ground. “I really fucked up. I guess humans really can’t do pitch feelings, can they?”

            Your eyes flicker to Kanaya. “Well, I don’t know about that. Kanaya and I started off contentious too. Every time I messaged her, my words were barbs, poorly con-seal-ed as an invitation of frondship. We dropped that line of conversation though, after some time. It just didn’t suite us best. But, I can see us vacilitating in the future. Her quips still make that old black flame flare up every once in a while.”

            “Rose,” Dave pulls you back from your tangent, “Back to Karkat.”

            You sigh, annoyed. “You can’t expect me to readily kelp you with your problems after interrupting my date _and_ after I repeatedly offered you myself as a possible candidate for your moirailegience in the past, which you adamantly refused to accept. By the way, I still reelly think you need someone to sort out all of your… issues. I just don’t think I can handle the position now that I’m just starting to juggle someone in my concupiscent quadrants. I would have to get used to managing my time between different people before I reconsidered.”

            Dave looked offended. “Rose, what the actual fuck? I don’t need a moirail! And I definitely wasn’t asking you to get all gross and pale on me like that. Maybe, I shouldn’t have come to you for help.”

            You lean in, flashing your teeth. “Forgive me. It’s just funny how whenever we get on the subject of your redder quadrants you develop avoidance behaviors. I’m a bit invested in why that is, since I’ve contemplated dipping into your diamonds.”

            Dave braced his arms around his chest. “You stay the hell away from my feelings rhombus, you pale vixen.”

            “Ahem,” Kanaya cleared her throat at the table where you left her. “If you two are done, I’d very much like to get to dessert, Rose. I’ve already finished the meal. Grubloaf is a lot better than I expected.”

            You clasp your hands together. “I’m so happy you enjoyed it!” You turn back to whisper one more thing to Dave, “I’ll try and talk to Karkat for you. I’m not sure if I’ll be of any help, but, in the future, you might want to stop releasing all of this emotional baggage onto me. A girl could see it as a proposition, you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first chap i've written instead of edited. i feel like this is slightly more redeemable than the first five.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEED SLEEP. WILL NOT STOP WRITING UNTIL THIS IS ADEQUATE.

            It’s been five days since you’ve last seen anybody. You’ve occasionally gone to the kitchen for food, but mostly you’ve been wandering around the many ectochambers that inhabit this dull hunk of rock. You’ve convinced yourself that you want to catch a glimpse of Gamzee, just to see how he’s been holding up ever since his aspect completely overpowered his will during your session. But apparently Vriska is keeping him well hidden.

            You hear something clink against one of the tanks and you stop walking. It’s kind of dark and all of the abominations still floating around you make the room you’re in feel like the setting is something out of a horror flick. Creepy noises can only add to your mounting hysteria. But you feel as if you better learn to keep company with the tubed freaks in this dingy little place. You definitely can’t go back to hanging around Dave.

            Something clatters against the metal floor and you whip around to find no one. There’s a layer of sweat forming on your back. You don’t think you’re alone anymore. You face forward and quicken your pacing, trying to exit the ectochamber and find the way back to your room. But all the damn hallways you run through look exactly the same.

            You feel a hand land on your shoulder and you jump. You back up against the wall and see Rose panting before you, hands resting on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. When she straightens up, she comes to just about your collarbone. “You’re actually pretty agile for a human.”

            You’re suddenly not feeling very amiable. “And, for a troll, you’re not so stealthy. Why were you following me?”

            Rose takes out an embroidered kerchief and pats at her forehead, ever the aristocrat. “I came to chat.”

            You slide back against the wall and sit down. She follows your lead, folding her godtier skirt down around her. “I don’t know why you’d ever want to chat with me, but be my guest, I guess.”

            She gives a sharp-toothed smile, very different from the two canines that occasionally spill over Dave’s bottom lip. “I actually find talking with you to be fairly enjoyabubble. You’re swimilar to Dave in a lot of waves.”

            You cock your head to the side, uninterested and doubtful. “How so?”

            She pulls her knees up to her chest. “Oh buoy! You know, my favorite thing to get into is insecurities! Let’s start there.”

            You grimace. “Maybe let’s not?”

            She waves you off. “Oh, no. Trust me. This will be an enlightening experience.” You don’t say anything in rebuttal and she takes that as her cue to continue, “So, through Jade’s viewport, I watched you grow up a little with your guardian.”

            A small pang of remembrance stings at your heart. “My dad?”

            “Yeah. He was a very loving lusus. He never seemed insincere when he showered you with affection. Am I to believe this is the truth?”

            You shrug. “Yeah, he was pretty great. I never felt like he didn’t care about me.”

            “But he was also deeply religious, right?”

            You freeze up. “Um, yes? How could you tell?”

            “It isn’t hard to figure out. I may not know a lot aboat any of your earth religions, but the signs were there. Images plastered onto your walls, idols over your fireplace and in the garden, and that hefty tomb… The Bibble was it called?”

            “The Bible.”

            “Yeah, that. And you, of course, felt a bit pressured by this environment, correct? We saw the subconchcious scribbles on your respite block walls. Seemed like you feared your father might be more taken in by his religion than he might care for you. But that was somefin I didn’t quite understand.”

            You shake your head. “How can you? From what I gathered between pesterchum convos from both John and Jade, you guys don’t actually have a word that means homosexuality.”

            “Yes. I admit, as a troll, it seems primitive to me to argue over sexuality. In Alternian society, you just were what you were, in that regard. I’m limited in understanding the cultural relevance it has with humans, but I can infer that being a ‘homosexual’ in your environment was not only stressful, but maybe even frightening.”

            You thump your head back against the wall. “Sure it was… Wait, how does this relate back to Dave?”

            She smiles coyly. “Let’s hold off on that connection for but a moment more. Do you think you’ve developed some coping mechanisms or defensive behaviors from being in your predicament?”

            Your brow furrows. “Maybe? That’s kind of invasive.”

            “Like speaking in a louder volume and trying to go above and beyond in taking a leadership role you clearly weren’t ready for?”

            “That’s a little harsh-”

            “Please apply everyfin we just discussed to Dave.” She finishes her train of thought, cutting you off.

            You run your fingers through your hair. “You’re trying to say… Dave has coping mechanisms, like me, because of… some type of fucked up environment?”

            She nods enthusiastically, eager to hear how her theory is going over.

            “Bull,” You’re quick to debunk.

            She groans. “You and he make everything so difficult. Okay, look. He’s a mutant, right? I’m shore you’ve heard about it by now from _someone_ in your session. He’s got red blood. It’s not on the hemospectrum. He’s started to cover his eyes to stop the color from showing, blah blah blah. It isn’t a big deal, now that Alternian society is dead and gone, but he’s still been affected by it. He’s…” She waves her hand around flippantly, “traumatized? I don’t know. He refuses to talk to me about it. He just plays it off like it isn’t an issue and stubbornly refuses to let me help him.”

            You shift uncomfortably on the floor. “Are you trying to be his moirail?”

            A hint of purple dusts her cheeks. “I used to be a bit intrigued with the notion, but lately I can’t be bothered. I mean, just look at what he’s making me do right now, and we aren’t even in a quadrant! He’s got me doing the run around to gauge just how much you hate him.”

            “I don’t hate him.” You sigh. “And that’s the problem.” You bury your head in your hands. “I disappointed him.”

            “No!” Her raised voice makes you flinch. “You not hating him is the solution!”

            “I-I don’t follow.”

            “He doesn’t let anyone into his redder quadrants.” Her eyes flash fiercely at you, impassioned. “I think he seas them as weak? Like, he’d need to be intimate and share more of himself, but he just won’t let it happen. He seems a bit more at ease with blackrom since it’s more violent and anger based. He doesn’t have to show vulnerability. Actually, it allows him to do the exact opposite. He can express dominance. But I think you’re vacilitating with him unintentionally. Like, he may seem disgusted by how weak you are when it comes to your inability to hurt others, but I think he actually has redder leanings towards you.”

            You feel a small leap of hope. “That can’t be.”

            “Oh, no. It’s quite possible. Don’t shell yourself short. You’re pretty pitiful.”

            You frown at her. “Thanks.”

            “I’m just being honest.”

            “But… what am I even supposed to do _knowing_ all that?”

            She smiles. “I’ll give you a little bit of advice.” She beckons you closer and you lean in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIIIIIREDDDD.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while. im still trying to push through this one, but hopefully it's fun to read.

            It’s been a week since you’ve seen Karkat, not that you are intentionally looking for him. You’ve just taken to wandering back and forth form your respite block and can town to help the mayor. And if you happen to catch a glimpse of him somewhere in between? That would be totally coincidental and unplanned.

            You’re on your way to see the mayor again today when you hear someone else in his designated storage block, making a visit to can town. You slink up and hide behind the corner of the wall, not ready to engage with anyone aside from your carapacian friend.

            It’s Karkat.

You can tell by his scruffy black sweater.

            And his obnoxiously loud voice.

            He’s squatting down with the mayor, his palm open. The mayor passes him a piece of gray chalk. He rolls it between his fingers and you hear his voice carry over, “This… does not answer my question.” The mayor only pats his head and points to the floor. He draws a few squiggles, which you are now familiar with as his rendering of streets. “I don’t want to draw! I want you to tell me where Dave is! Or at least arrange a meeting between us…”

            At this point you feel the need to step in. “He’s not my secretary, dude.” He spins around and unbalances himself from his crouching position. He lands back on his ass. “Actually, I’m probably his. He is the mayor after all.” The mayor gives you a thumbs-up, approving your new position.

            Karkat shifts to sit cross-legged. He peers up at you, a little annoyed with your unannounced entrance. But he doesn’t yell or say anything nasty, just frowns and lets out a small, “Hey…”

            You rub the back of your neck awkwardly and answer his greeting, “Um, hey?” He starts to juggle the chalk in between his hands, keeping himself busy fiddling with his new distraction. Instead of waiting for him to work up the nerve, you talk first, “So, why were you looking for me?” His eyes whip back to you and he seems nervous. You sigh. “You want to break up, right?”

            He jumps up. “No! It’s not that! I just-”

            “Blackrom just not cuttin it for you? You’d rather skulk around on your lonesome for the duration of our time here?” You know you’re being irrational. Misdirecting anger and fear his way, like you’ve been trying to do for the entirety of your newly formed kismesitude. And the hurt face he gives you pretty much sums up how his involvement usually goes too. Makes your bloodpusher flutter. Makes you see red in a way that isn’t platonic or full of ill-intent.

You are suddenly extremely aware of how your palms are sweating. How you must be making a strange face behind your shades and a little of the emotion is slipping through. You can see it in the way he tenses up, reaches out a hand hesitantly but pauses. Your strained face is reflected in his worried eyes (No! He shouldn’t be concerned for someone like you!).

            “Dave…” His voice is gentle, sweet. Something in its pitch fills you with a warm glow that starts at your chest and makes its way down. You see some kind of resolve pass over his face before his hand continues making its way towards you. You flinch, closing your eyes shut, and then, his soft hand is cupping your cheek.

            You jolt, surprised as he removes his hand and then delicately brings it back down, papping you softly. His eyes are so focused on the task, full of determination, that you’re immediately flooded with a feeling of affection (Who ever heard of someone vacilitating black to pale?). You lose the tension in your shoulders and unconsciously lean into the touch.

            His eyes widen as yours droop, perplexed by your sudden calmness. Only when he drops his hand to rest on your shoulder do you realize you’re staring down at him dumbly, purring so loud, you could rival the ignition of an engine.

            You pull away and clear your throat, quelling the embarrassing sound you were letting escape. Much to your chagrin, there is still a hint of unevenness left over when you speak, “You-hmmf! Where did you learn to do that?”

            He shrugged. “Rose mentioned I should do it if you ever got too rowdy. Was it… bad?” That absolute witch! How many times did you have to tell her you don’t need a moirail? Especially not Karkat, when you’ve just realized you might have redder leanings towards him.

He’s fidgeting on his feet and, god, why does he always have to look so insecure and vulnerable around you? This isn’t even the kind of protectiveness that follows with a sudden jump into moiraillegience, you realize.

            The quadrant lines are getting fuzzy. You’re still hurtling 90 miles an hour into the flush crush zone and you have never been more pissed at yourself for allowing there to be a shift from the concupiscent quadrants into the conciliatory. Your pining for this cute cut of alien ass is now going to worsen exponentially.

            You can’t look him in the eye when you answer, “No! It wasn’t bad… Just unexpected. I don’t suppose Rose told you… what it meant to do that though?”

            He squirms. “Sort of. It’s for placating you, right? Making sure you don’t lash out at others and hurt them or yourself. Uh… keeping you safe?”

            You nod. “Yeah, and that bodes kind of badly for our hatedate plans.”

            Karkat slumps. “If it was totally out of bounds to switch on you like that, then I’m sorry! It was culturally insensitive and I should have asked you first! But,” he pauses, reluctant to continue, “I didn’t want to disappoint you, but I don’t think I’m cut out for blackrom. I don’t want you to hate me, and I don’t really hate you, aside from the occasional flicker of annoyance. And this isn’t just a way to get out of being with or around you! I want to hang out with you and be together. I actually think it’s _fun_ being with you!” He stops blathering, then goes red to his ear tips. You want to smoosh his face up and kiss his nose, but that doesn’t seem like it’ll fit into your romance square now that he’s effectively settled you into diamonds.

            You swallow and feel a sinking sensation in the pit of your stomach. You can do this. You can hide your flushed feelings, just like you’ve been avoiding them all your life. Diamonds was never your strong suit, sure. And you have little to no experience in anything red, but at least you aren’t stressing Karkat out over being a proper kismesis anymore. If he wants your diamonds, you’ll give him your diamonds. You manage a small smile, “Sure. You want the job of bein my monorail? You’ve got it.”

            He rolls his eyes at your butchering of the term and gives a tiny pap to your face when he steps by you. You shiver and pray that your horribly mutant genetics don’t fuck this up by continuing to blur your quadrant lines.

            The storage block fills with the sound of clapping and you look down to see the mayor excitably smacking his hands together, overjoyed with this new development. You push your glasses back up, flustered that your first papping was public and in front of one of your new bros. “Not cool, man. Not cool.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> : P  
> huzzah for irregular updates


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